Those lies I tell myself …

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Lies are a vicious circle!!

What lies do I tell myself?…..

“oh yeah, that totally looks good on you” -_-

“You can absolutely run that full mile without stopping …or dying” -definitely not true haha ..it used to be

“You’re hungry, not bored.” -stupid lies

“You’re a fat ass.” -ok brain, a little harsh.

“You look like crap.” -I may not be the 20 year old version of me anymore ..but damn

“I love cleaning the house.” -No, just love having a clean house

Yeeaahhh …I could probably go on and on and on and on with these. I’m a glutton for the truth but man do I lie to myself a lot. haha Some of the things I subconsciously tell myself aren’t that bad. In fact, sometimes I tell myself something to get me motivated {aka, cleaning the house}. But, my entire life I have been my absolute worst critic. My brain is filled with “you aren’t good enough”, “you’re ugly”, “you look like a cow” …..yeah, we’ll stop there for now.

I’ve always been someone who if I hear it once I hold on to it for a little while but eventually get over it. But if I hear it multiple times then I believe it 100%. So when my brain keeps uttering these things, it’s damage done. I struggle with this every day. I guess it’s human nature. I mean, the fact is, I am not in the best shape of my life. In fact I’m in the worst shape of my life. The problem comes when I let that self anger and nonacceptance take control and prevent me from making the necessary changes. I mean hell I’m 28 years old {eww …only as of TODAY though hehe YAY Happy Birthday Me!!!} ….anyway, I’m 28 years old not 80. So there is no reason why I cant be just as skinny, healthy, energetic, active and confident as I was when I was 22. I act like I’m an old lady! lol

Point is, we all have a devil on our shoulder. It’s if we allow that devil to rein that matters. I’m currently trying to teach my shoulder angel kung-foo so he can beat the ever living hell out of my shoulder devil! yep! True story!

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Thanks for being a part of my journey,

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5 thoughts on “Those lies I tell myself …

  1. Hey Happy Birthday ! 28 WOW ! such a nice age to be, mature yet youthful, still having the luxury to do wild things and get away with that. I remember when I turned 28, I was on top of the world πŸ™‚ just finished off with my post grad, joined the workforce again after a few years of not working for living, it felt good. Relationship was going strong had so much to look forward to.

    This feeling lasted for only a couple more years, the handbrake was pulled as soon as I hit 30. Its been slightly downhill from that point onwards and now re-emerging from the darkness πŸ™‚

    Having said that, your post makes so much sense, I feel our conversations with ourselves makes us believe in things that aren’t true. Its natures way of reducing the number of alpha males/females, the world needs a few insecure people, I really don’t believe its a bad thing, its just how people are.

    So any birthday resolutions? I would say just keep on being awesome πŸ™‚

    Take care and enjoy your day. Keep writing.

    Ali

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