The Skies were bluer then I had ever seen

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This entire prompt is deeper then I think I am capable of talking about today. I feel so blah. Not in a bad way, just I dont know, I have no real urge or thought to talk about. But, I said I was going to do a 30 day challenge when I started this and by God I will stick to it!

This is something I think about often. The “bluer” days are the ones that keep pushing us forward. I do not see this as a literal thing. In no way do I plan to talk about a beautiful blue sky. I’m from California, I lived in San Diego for almost 6 years, and now I am living in a gorgeous mountain-ish community in Tennessee …I have seen some beautiful blue skies. Definitely not today though. It is grey and windy outside. It’s supposed to rain too. We get a lot of that out here which I am ok with because I love the rain.

I’m beginning to think I write better when I just ramble. This sticking to a prompt thing messes with my head. I over think it!

Anyway, there has been a couple times in my life that I look back and remember sitting there after dealing with a hard time or something and it just clicked. My skies were blue and I was ready to take on the world.

1st – I was dating this guy. Because of some stupid drama that I don’t feel like recapping, it was a short lived relationship. Literally like a month and I discovered we were broken up because he deleted me on Myspace…. yep! Super mature! -_- Anyway, for some reason I was really upset about this whole situation and it put me in a very depressed state. I remember going out to bars RELIGIOUSLY with my best friend and just forgetting about reality. Anyway, one day I was in a weird mood, partially depressed, partially over being depressed and partially mad at myself for letting myself be depressed over something so stupid. I decided to go to the beach. I lived a mile and a half away in San Diego. I sat there looking around at everyone and watching the waves come in and for some reason it just clicked. I laughed at myself a little bit and shook my head. I was being so stupid. I think more than anything I was mad because I wasn’t getting my way and I was throwing an adult temper tantrum. I was over it. It wasn’t but a few weeks later I had finally moved on {it had been a few months since the 5th grade style break up} and I started dating someone new. Needless to say that relationship didn’t last but still …. I had moved on and for months that was all I needed. I felt free. The skies were blue, not a cloud in sight! A year later, I met  my husband!

2- In 2007 one of my childhood best friends passed away on Easter Morning in a car accident. I had dealt with death a few times before but this one really hit me hard. Her name was Megan. She was the type of person who lit up a room when she came in. She had a smile that was so sincere and so truly happy that you couldn’t help but feel better when she was around. Megan was a great person and a great friend. I had known her since I was 7 or 8 years old and some of my favorite childhood memories were of Megan and her family. Her parents were, and still are, amazing people and her older brother {when we were kids} was like a brother to me. Definitely picked on me the same as he did Megan. It felt like an extended family. When she passed I watched as her brother went into a dark place, I talked to her mom and few times and seeing the pain her family was going through just made my pain worse. I was drinking A LOT and forgot all of my responsibilities. I was living off of my tax return and my parents. I had a part time job for a little bit but quit because I was miserable. It was a mess. As the 1 year anniversary neared, I had a dream. Megan came to me and told me she was ok and that she was watching over her family too and they were going to be ok. When I woke up the next morning I felt a weight off my shoulders. I knew Megan wouldn’t want to see me, her family or any of our friends in this dark place. I immediately started looking for a job and shortly thereafter got a job at Guitar Center. It was 6 months later I moved to San Diego and truly began enjoying life again. Megan pulled me out of that darkness and the skies were bluer then I had seen them in a long time! I will always remember that and always be grateful for her visit!

Lifes been rough. But I’ve had a great support system and it’s because of these people that I have been able to continue moving forward and growing. You’ll hear a lot more about all of them as the days go on. They each deserve their moment in the spotlight!

 

Thanks for being a part of my journey,

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