My Brain is a Hamster in a Wheel

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Eye Yie Yie. My brain. I’m telling ya! It just doesnt stop. Even with a list of topics I want to discuss for you guys, I still cant manage to come up with anything to talk about right now because my brain is on absolute overdrive. Without there being anything happening, there is still a lot going on.

I start work in a couple weeks which is both exciting and not so exciting. I mean I am definitely looking forward to a paycheck, getting out of the house and on a routine and socializing with new people. But at the same time, being free to do what I want when I want and not having to work around a schedule has been great. I enjoy being able to just get up and go do something on a whim. But that will be gone when I start working. Kinda sucks.

The day before I start working is also my step daughters 5th birthday. So I’m trying to figure out what to buy her and how to afford it. That’s always fun!

Also, me and a couple friends are in the process of trying to get a TV show picked up. I just found out tonight that we have a producer that is interested. So that is really exciting. But there is a lot to figure out and still no guarantee. So I dont even know what to do with myself. I want to get super exciting and start getting all into it and buying all the equipment we’ll need and stuff like that. But at the same time I dont want to get too crazy because if for some reason it doesnt go through …then I’m left with all this stuff. I am hopeful and feel good about it but I dont want to get to ahead of myself.

I’ve also been working on trying to get caught up with some bills. Needless to say, after being laid off for 8 months, things have gotten rather behind. It’s been a mess and the light has finally reached the end of the tunnel so I can start trying to work with people to get this stuff paid off and taken care of. But let me tell you …stressful!!

On top of all of that, there has just been a lot of memories running through my head. Which is a good and bad thing. There are a lot of great memories which make me smile but also make me sad because I miss those time and the people I had around me. It also can lead to the not so happy memories. With the anniversary of Autumn passing being yesterday, I’ve been thinking a lot about her and the other important people in my life that I have lost and it makes me really sad. I miss them all so much. But at the same time I’ve had some amazing times with Autumn and my other friends/family that are gone and it is so great to think back on those times.

My brain is no joke a hamster in an out of control wheel. It just keeps spinning at a rapid pace. I dont know how to stop or control it and it’s moving so fast it’s just flinging memories all over the place. It’s out of control in there! It’s not a bad thing by any means. All in all it’s just been a lot of great memories but it is exhausting at the same time. 

I know this is kinda a ramble. I really didn’t know what to talk about tonight. With my brain so jumbled by everything else, I just cant think straight which makes it rather impossible to focus on one thing. Hopefully it will all even out soon otherwise I’m going to need a week long nap!

 

Thanks for being a part of my journey,

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