Misconception of a person

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So the big thing right now is the ABC show “The Bachelor.” Now I personally love this show and I don’t think I’ve seen anything from the bachelor, Juan Pablo that makes me think he’s a bad person or whatever. {and no this whole post is not going to be about the bachelor …just read} But, there has been many reports from the girls that he is a fake, self centered, not taking this seriously …this that and the other. Now this is where I get confused…. last night was the “Girls Tell All” episode and we truly got a mix of opinions. Some girls were upset and felt that they had been played, lied to and disrespected. Other girls were still heartbroken and confused, some girls admitted they did have very serious feelings for him but have since moved on. Then Andi {shown above} stated that she truly was falling in love with him but after a night alone with him she lost those feelings. Now the question stands …did some of these girls simply have a bad experience due to lack of connection or whatever it may be and now they are misconceiving who Juan Pablo is as a person …OR is he really this person and the other girls just aren’t seeing it?

Honestly I dont know the truth none of us do because none of us know him. But I can honestly say that until I see something substantial then there is no opinion for me to gather. For many years I fell under the misconceived category. Everyone looked at me and assumed I was a party girl, slept around and was a complete bitch. Well a bitch yes …but only when I needed to be and everything else they thought was absolutely NOT accurate at all. In fact during the periods of time where I was really judged a lot, I was still a virgin and sure I drank a bit but it was with my friends on the weekends. I wasn’t getting wasted every day like people assumed.

But it was simply to make the assumption. I had {still have} long black hair, wore dark eye makeup and had a punk/rockabilly style. I was very unique and stood out in a normal crowd. My friends were all older then me and drank a lot …they were of age so they could. People ASSUMED things about me because of the way I looked and the way I defended my friends and didn’t take crap from anyone. But when they got to know me they quickly realized their assumptions were far from the truth. Now as I’ve gotten older my style has calmed down a little. It’s not as ….dark. But it’s still my own. I really dont know what people think of me when they see me now but I know it’s a lot different then it used to be.

There was even a time where I was harassed by a CHP officer for 45 minutes …he did multiple DUI tests all of which I passed with flying colors. He accused me of being on drugs multiple times even though he had NO proof. In fact even to this day I have NEVER touched a drug. Not even marijuana. I have no desire … never have. I later found out that this guy was a complete douche and was known for harassing women. But still, he made these accusations and assumptions because of the way I looked. It was ridiculous and he’s lucky I didn’t have his job because of it!

Having people assumed these things about me did upset me a lot. I wasn’t trying to give off that “look.” I was just trying to be myself, be who I was comfortable being. I was comfortable with my dark hair and makeup {still am} …I was comfortable with my punk/rockabilly clothes and creeper shoes {look em up if you dont know what they are haha} ..I loved my bright red lip stick and 3 length belt chain. I wore it every day! That’s who I was comfortable being. It didn’t mean I was a slut or drug addict. It didn’t mean I was a bitch and couldn’t be a friend! The fact that people thought those things so much is what caused me to change my look. I’ve become comfortable with the person I am now as far as my style. But it’s not who I used to be and it wasn’t a change I made by coincidence. It was a change I made because I didn’t want to be stereotyped in those ways anymore. It upset me and made me feel like no one would ever get to know me for who I was.

The fact is, we assume things about people a lot without every getting to truly know someone. I’ve done it. I’m not innocent. But after my experiences I truly try not to. I try to get to know someone for myself before I decide what kind of person they are. Because I’ve let go of stereotypes, I’ve made some great friends of all different styles. If I had stayed closed off and naive I would have never gotten to know them and it would have been my loss. We need to open our minds and close our eyes. We need to stop being so judgmental when we have no facts…. stop reading a book by it’s cover. If you do this you will open your world to so many new possibilities.

 

Thanks for being a part of my journey,

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