Guilty Pleasures

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Guilty pleasures …where to begin! And NO you gutter minded individuals this is NOT going to be one of “those” posts …get your brain out of the sewage you weirdo! :p   I’m a classy lady!!

 1- Boy Bands –let’s be real. I was 12 at the time Backstreet Boys and NSync and all those other amazing and oh so good looking boy bands were at their prime! It’s a part of me and I have no shame. I will rock out to some Backstreet Boys any day and enjoy every moment!

2- Cheesecake …or anything that has cheesecake in it! Like, I go SERIOUS fat kid mode! I’d eat it every day if it wouldn’t turn me into a hippo.

3- Reality TV – Don’t judge me! I can see you’re judging me! STOP IT!

4- Frozen Yogurt – which by the way I cover in chunks of cheesecake …as well as get the cheesecake flavored yogurt …I told you I’m obsessed with cheesecake!

5- Animal print – it literally looks like a zebra blew up in my car. I am currently sitting here with a leopard print blanket over me and a zebra print blanket hanging over my chair …that’s just the tip of the animal print iceberg!

6- My damn sippy cups – don’t ask why I call them that. I don’t know. I think I did it when I was in one of my weird childish moods and it just stuck. But those damn tumbler cups that are everywhere ..the ones with the lids and straws and usually cutely decorated or designed …yep I LOVE THEM! I have a legit collection and I refuse to stop… and yes I ABSOLUTELY have animal print ones!

7- Katy Perry – she’s simply amazing! She is my power animal. Who needs a penguin when you can have a Katy ..she roars …it counts (yep that was SUPER cheesy ..deal with it)

8- Makeup – I am such a girl! But seriously! I see a pretty color eye shadow or lipstick and I have to have it ..even though I probably won’t use it; at least probably not often. I literally have a box (much bigger than a shoe box) FULL of makeup! It’s sad. I could feed a small country of the money I’ve spent on makeup.

9- Tattoos – Like I have a legit obsession with getting them and having them! There have been times I’ve contemplated forgoing paying bills to get a new tattoo. Luckily I am responsible …but the thought has definitely been there! I’m addicted.

10- Disney Movies – I could literally sit all day and do nothing but watch Disney movies. And I’m not talking about the newer ones. I mean the good old school ones …Lion King, Beauty and the Beast, Pocahontas, The Little Mermaid, 101 Dalmatians …..The good ones! I would sit there and sing along to every song while I was at it too!!

Thus my list …a  lot of ridiculousness really. But hey, I enjoy it so whatever. I am completely ok with it! I have no shame what so ever! 🙂

 

Thanks for being a part of my journey,

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So much more than a New Years Resolution …

I guess we can call it a life resolution.

I’ve generally always been one of those “New Year, New Me” kinda people. But something about this new year just doesn’t have me feeling like that. These past few years have been increasingly difficult and depressing. I could write a seriously intense book of my life and only include the past 3 years ….it would be quite a read.

This past year (2014) I came to terms with a lot ….I attempted to restore my marriage only for it to blow up in my face. I accepted the fact that my marriage was over and I would never have my fairy tale. (Get married once, be together forever) …I learned to accept that I was in an abusive marriage. Though sometimes it is still hard for me to really say it out loud. I picked up my things and I left. No warning, no plan ….just the knowledge that I had to do it or it would be the end of me. I struggled, and still struggle to find my stability. My own path. I’ve been blessed with amazing friends who have put a roof over my head otherwise I’d be God knows where right now. But that experience alone broke me. At 28 years old I was 18 again …venturing out into the world alone. I was in a new state where I really didn’t know anyone …I had nothing but my dogs and some of my belonging. I managed to build a new life …or at least started to. I dated. Failed. Made new AMAZING friends. I fell apart several times but got back up. I met someone, was able to let my guard down more than I have in a long long time ..was able to feel what it felt like to fall in love again; to some extent I suppose. Of course that ended as it always does …me broken hearted. Lucky me it happened 2 days before the new year. I guess I’m glad it happened then so I can start off the new year knowing the truth instead of being wrapped up in a lie.

But so be it ..here I am …January 1 …2015

It started out differently than I had expected but that’s ok.

Now everyone is posting their new years resolutions. I am just not feeling it. I want this year to be something great and different then the last 3. But I don’t think narrowing my goals down to 1 year is going to cut it. I want to change my life not just my year. So thus ….my life resolution …

In no order….

1- Get back in the gym. I’m sick of feeling fat and out of shape. I want to be able to look in the mirror again and smile being so proud of my hard work and the pay off.

2- Learn to love myself. I’ve tried this over and over and never been able to figure it out. But I need to. I have to.

3- Rid myself of negativity. Sure I’m human it happens but I need to learn to focus on the good and let go of the bad or stressful.

4- Forgive those that have hurt me. I tend to hold onto things which in the end just causes me more pain and anger. I need to learn to just forgive and let go …but never forget.

5- Go on adventures. I live in a big state that is so new to me and has so much to experience. I want to get out and see it all. Have fun new experiences, meet new people!

I guess thats kinda the most of it. Sure it looks like a list of new years resolutions and take it as you may. But these are things I want to start today for ME ..for MY life …not for the new year. These things will hopefully carry far beyond 2015.

Now to be honest I really dont have the motivation for any of this. It’s not like I’m all gungho about it …its just something I know I have to do if I am ever going to have a life that I am happy with…. if I am ever going to be truly happy!

So for you “New Year, New Me” types …Heres to 2015

For those of you who are in my boat ..Here’s to life …

Thanks for being a part of my journey,

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