Letter to Me.

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So a couple days ago I was driving home from work, windows down and music up …and Brad Paisley’s “Letter to Me” came on the radio. It really got me thinking. I am the type of person who dwells on the past and worries about the future. I truly wish I could write myself a letter and send it to my past self …as well as one to my future self. But mostly my past. I think about it often and it’s what holds me back a lot too. There are so many things I wish current me could have told past me.

Things like:

-You’re going to get your heart broken dont dwell on it because it will just make your future relationships, and marriage harder. You’ll be too afraid of opening up and speaking your mind. {luckily in my marriage I have worked through this, but it took me some time}

-In fact you will get your heart broken more than once.

-You will break hearts, and that can hurt you just as much. It never feels good hurting someone you cared about.

-Just remember you did it for a reason and it will bring you to where you are now.

-Spend more time with you dad. In fact every minute you can. He’ll be taken from you far far before you are ready for it.

-Spend more time with your friends. Every chance you get in fact. Never let a day or opportunity pass that you turn down time with them.

-There are a couple friends you are going to lose too soon. Cherish the moments with them.

-Don’t blame yourself when one of them makes the decision to take her own life. It was her choice not yours. I know you always said you should call and check on her and I know you feel like you let her down by not reaching out sooner but there was nothing you could have done to take away her pain.

-Work hard. Show them your potential.

-Be careful with your money. Save. Because one day it will become the root of your stress and the trigger of your tears.

-Travel. See the world. There is so much out there beyond what you could imagine.

-Always be a good friend. In return you’ll have good friends.

-Forgive. Forgive those who broke your heart. Those who broke your spirit. Those that let you down. Those that did you wrong and those that stabbed you in the back. You don’t deserve the pain of holding onto the anger.

-Don’t be manipulated. Don’t let anyone make you believe something that deep down you know isn’t true. It’s going to make you look and feel like the kind of person that you definitely aren’t.

-Take care of yourself.

-You are strong. Remember that when you feel weak. You’ve been through darkness before. You can get through.

-Always call your mom when you need advise or an opinion ….she will never steer you wrong {and she hasn’t}

-Love fully. Forgive freely. But never forget.

 

I’ve had a life that’s made for movies but at the end of the day it is mine. Good, bad, stressful ..whatever it may be.. it is mine and only mine. I wish I would have known these things before because it would make today a bit easier.

 

Thanks for being a part of my journey,

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In 10 Years

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Ok first lets realize a couple things …

10 years ago it was 2004.

            I was 18 and graduated High School. 

            Facebook was STARTED

            The final episode of FRIENDS aired …I’m still sad about this

            Janet Jackson Superbowl Wardrobe malfunction

             Brittney’s 55 hour marriage

             oh yeah, and we were all freaking out because gas prices jumped over $2 a gallon -_-

oie vay. Where the hell has the last 10 years gone? All of this feels like it was only yesterday. I mean come on now. This is crazyness. I can honestly say I dont really remember then where I thought my life would be now…. but I think I’m pretty on track …a little behind but doing good all in all. I know I thought I’d be married {check} …graduated from college {check} …working my career {umm ..getting there} …..have kids {I have a step daughter and hopefully my own soon enough} but hey 50% isn’t too bad considering. I’ve been thought a lot and done a long in the last 10 years thats for sure. 

I spent 5 1/5 of them living in gorgeous San Diego which was a dream of mine when I was in high school. I met some amazing people and some not so amazing people. I made some of the best friends I could ever imagine and tragically had to say good bye to some as well. I got my Bachelors Degree and will be heading into a Masters program at some point this year. I now live in Tennessee ….yep until I met my husband this whole Tennessee thing was never even a thought. But I’m definitely happy to be here. In December 2012 I bought a brand new 2013 Dodge Dart! I definitely never thought I’d be buying a brand new car. All in all these past 10 years have been a whole lot of fun! 

Now for the next 10 …… eek!!

            It will be 2024

            I’ll be 38 …oh hell no!!!

            Definitely hope to have kids of my own. If I dont then something is wrong.

            My husband will probably have a heart attack because his daughter will be 15, starting to drive {and probably dating uh oh}

            We may still be in Tennessee. But who knows. We may be back in Cali or somewhere else. Anythings possible.

            I’ll definitely have bought another new car by then

            I’ll have my Masters Degree and possibly some others and definitely have found and established my career

I am not looking forward to getting older and at this age it’s when adulthood really seems to be kicking in and it’s no more playing around. Of course it’s important to still have fun and enjoy life. But fun and enjoyment are different then they were these past 10 years. It’s just a weird change. I’m still not really used to it. But all I see in the next 10 years is growth and advancement. I know there will be some hard and sad times. But that is life. I’m definitely looking forward to all the fun, new and exciting things that will happen in these next 10 years! 

 

Thanks for being a part of my Journey

{remind me to look at this in 10 years}

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