Choose Positivity. Change the World.



The other day a friend of mine of Facebook posted about an experience they had with a customer service representative over the phone. They made a comment about how customer service is dead and it made me think …

I work in a call center for a very large and well known company so I see the other end of those conversations. I’ve been the customer and I am the rep, every day. I promise you it isn’t as easy as it seems.

Just think about it, sitting on the phone all day, every day with calls coming in back to back to back…. For 8 hours …every day ….mind you, the majority of the people you are talking to are not being exactly nice. Now don’t get me wrong, there are many great people I talk to day after day. But there are also people who have been incredibly hateful. I also only have the experience for my own job so maybe this doesn’t apply to every setting.

Now I don’t want to delve into all these horrible calls or reps that I’ve experienced because that is not the point of this. The point is… it’s not that customer service is dead’s that human decency is dead.

In my experience with my employer I have had the privilege of speaking with some incredibly kind and great people. I’ve talked to people who just needed help and were so grateful when I could just help them. But I have also talked to people who have cussed me and verbally broken me down over something so menial. I have had my first and only experience with racism against myself all because I was doing my job as I was expected to do it. I was kind and professional and it didn’t matter. It’s heartbreaking and can really take a toll on a person when you are dealing with that day after day.


positivity 2

But we have to remember that we are all human beings and just because someone else was hateful or we are going through a hard time does not mean we need to take it out on someone else. It’s a vicious cycle …”abusive” customers cause calloused reps and calloused reps cause “abusive” customers. That doesn’t go for just reps and customers either. It’s simply being a decent human being to each other.

We rarely hear those pass it down stories where someone ahead of you in line at Starbucks paid for your drink so you did the same for the person behind you. But we need to, we need more of those people and less of the people who have no care for anyone but themselves.

Don’t forget that the person providing you that “Customer service” is another human being who has their own issues and maybe what they need is a kind person to show them not everyone is out to get them.

You are so much more likely to get what you want when you are nice instead of screaming and yelling. You attract more bees with fields of flowers than you do with a pond of vinegar.

We have to take accountability for our own actions because those are the only actions and choices we can control. If you choose to be mean and hateful then don’t get upset when someone is mean and hateful back. We can’t lose faith in society because then it is truly lost. We have to, as cliché as it sounds, be the change we want to see. We have to stand up and be what we want society to be because actions and attitudes (good or bad) are contagious.


Choose wisely.

Pass it down.

Be the reason someone smiles today!



Thank you for being a part of my journey,



Why Do I Write?


Why do I write …

To be honest it took me a long time to decide I wanted to try blogging because I was afraid maybe embarrassed about the things I wanted to say and share. When I started a handful of years back it was because I was in a dark place and thought it would be a good outlet to not only express my feelings and thoughts but to also use my experiences to help someone else. Have I don’t that? I don’t know but I hope so. Life is so much better now and I don’t need the outlet… so why do it? …well, I just feel like I have a lot to share and can still maybe help someone or even just help make someone’s day better.

But its days like this that frustrate me ….I have no idea what to write and have been trying to figure it out nonstop since last week. I’ve started, stopped, edited and deleted several different posts because they were meaningless and pure ramble. Which I suppose this one is as well. But as a reintroduction I suppose it’s important for people to understand my purpose… unless you want to go back and read all my previous posts (which would be super great and I would love you forever)!!

It just amazes me how much I don’t have to say because life is good now and I’m happy. Your brain has a way of just slowing down when it’s happy. I would never change my journey because it lead me here …to the happiest place I’ve ever been in my life. But it’s been a long and incredibly difficult journey. I’ve been tested, beat down, doubted and treated like dirt. But it was all so worth it.

My only word of advice is to remove the negativity from your life and don’t waste time doing it. Just do it now! It will be difficult at first but it will be so worth it in the end.  We all have our bad days, that’s just life. But there is no reason to keep cancerous friends, or stay in an abusive relationship. There is no reason to let people kick you until you fall and then continue to kick you while you’re down. You have one life… live it for YOU and no one else!!

I’m sorry this is just another rant. But I’m really trying here!! Haha 🙂


Thank you for being a part of my journey!


Guess who’s Back!

Guess Whos Back

I literally have no idea what I’m doing here. So this shall be nothing more than a ramble I’m sure. But hey, after a 3 year (or so) hiatus ….I’m going to try this blogging thing again. I loved doing it before ..but then came divorce, and moving and getting my life back. Success!

I have found myself over the past few years wanting to blog and thinking about starting it back up but for whatever reason I just never did. I’ll peruse Pinterest and find myself saving blog prompts and helpful tools! …yet a blog is never restarted. Then yesterday I was cleaning out my overly full email inbox and came across a comment I hadn’t seen yet saying that they really enjoyed my unique way of writing and felt my blog was one that could become viral.

My big head aside, I have no real expectations here. I would love for this to become a popular blog but I’m trying to be realistic. There are probably thousands of incredibly talented bloggers. And here I am ranting about my thoughts, life and experiences. But hey, maybe one of these days it’ll become something. I have always said my life should be a movie.

So though this blog entry is short. I want it to be a re-introduction …from here …the possibilities are endless.

Thanks for being a part of my journey.


So much more than a New Years Resolution …

I guess we can call it a life resolution.

I’ve generally always been one of those “New Year, New Me” kinda people. But something about this new year just doesn’t have me feeling like that. These past few years have been increasingly difficult and depressing. I could write a seriously intense book of my life and only include the past 3 years ….it would be quite a read.

This past year (2014) I came to terms with a lot ….I attempted to restore my marriage only for it to blow up in my face. I accepted the fact that my marriage was over and I would never have my fairy tale. (Get married once, be together forever) …I learned to accept that I was in an abusive marriage. Though sometimes it is still hard for me to really say it out loud. I picked up my things and I left. No warning, no plan ….just the knowledge that I had to do it or it would be the end of me. I struggled, and still struggle to find my stability. My own path. I’ve been blessed with amazing friends who have put a roof over my head otherwise I’d be God knows where right now. But that experience alone broke me. At 28 years old I was 18 again …venturing out into the world alone. I was in a new state where I really didn’t know anyone …I had nothing but my dogs and some of my belonging. I managed to build a new life …or at least started to. I dated. Failed. Made new AMAZING friends. I fell apart several times but got back up. I met someone, was able to let my guard down more than I have in a long long time ..was able to feel what it felt like to fall in love again; to some extent I suppose. Of course that ended as it always does …me broken hearted. Lucky me it happened 2 days before the new year. I guess I’m glad it happened then so I can start off the new year knowing the truth instead of being wrapped up in a lie.

But so be it I am …January 1 …2015

It started out differently than I had expected but that’s ok.

Now everyone is posting their new years resolutions. I am just not feeling it. I want this year to be something great and different then the last 3. But I don’t think narrowing my goals down to 1 year is going to cut it. I want to change my life not just my year. So thus ….my life resolution …

In no order….

1- Get back in the gym. I’m sick of feeling fat and out of shape. I want to be able to look in the mirror again and smile being so proud of my hard work and the pay off.

2- Learn to love myself. I’ve tried this over and over and never been able to figure it out. But I need to. I have to.

3- Rid myself of negativity. Sure I’m human it happens but I need to learn to focus on the good and let go of the bad or stressful.

4- Forgive those that have hurt me. I tend to hold onto things which in the end just causes me more pain and anger. I need to learn to just forgive and let go …but never forget.

5- Go on adventures. I live in a big state that is so new to me and has so much to experience. I want to get out and see it all. Have fun new experiences, meet new people!

I guess thats kinda the most of it. Sure it looks like a list of new years resolutions and take it as you may. But these are things I want to start today for ME ..for MY life …not for the new year. These things will hopefully carry far beyond 2015.

Now to be honest I really dont have the motivation for any of this. It’s not like I’m all gungho about it …its just something I know I have to do if I am ever going to have a life that I am happy with…. if I am ever going to be truly happy!

So for you “New Year, New Me” types …Heres to 2015

For those of you who are in my boat ..Here’s to life …

Thanks for being a part of my journey,


You never realize how lost you are until you try to find yourself


How do you put your life, your pain, your weaknesses and your demons into words?

I’ve sat for weeks, months thinking and contemplating what my life is and where I want it to be. I’ve thought I was on the right track only to be derailed. I’ve planned only to realize my plans were nothing but notes and numbers jotted on a piece of scrap paper. Dreams …on a piece of paper I’d later crumble up and toss in the trashcan because I realized how unrealistic they were. I’ve faked a smile through the tears and pain because it’s become second nature and easier then facing reality. Well reality is, I’ve lost myself completely. Thinking about putting out a missing ad in fact … Reward … I don’t know. I’ll figure it out when we cross that bridge.

I was sitting at lunch today and my mind was going a million miles a minute many thoughts, hopes, wishes, fears .. so much anger, sadness, pain …I realized then that I had completely lost myself. I had become that person I worked so hard to not be anymore. I have become that angry negative person that I hate. That person that I swore I’d never be again. It all came down to the hell do I find myself again? …how can I find that strength and that fight inside myself again to rid myself of this shell that I had become?

Those thoughts were followed with this post on Facebook …. “I’ve been doing A LOT of thinking over the past week and I’ve come to realize that this year and the hell I was put through has awakened a lot of the demons that I worked hard to get rid of. That angry, depressed, negative side of me has unfortunately made a strong presence. My fucked up marriage being the biggest culprit ….it’s going to be a process and I’ll need a lot of support and help …but I need to hide these demons again and find that happy, carefree, passionate side of me again …I’m determined to hold onto the things that make me happy and all else can seriously be gone. This is going to be one hell of a journey but I’ve beat this battle before ..I’d imagine I can do it again.”

Now some people made the comment of how I need to rid the demons not hide them. But to be honest ..those demons are what keep me fighting. They give me the anger I need when I need t. They awaken a beast in me that doesn’t give a damn what others think and allow me to really fight for what I believe in. I just need to learn how to hide them until they are needed again. There’s a passion in me that’s been missing for a long time now. A passion that was stolen and verbally beaten out of me. A happiness …

Sometimes that side of me is drawn out. Someone finds a way to pull it out of me. It lights a fire in me that I miss. I am so anxious to find it again. Now I could say I’m going to just start being more positive and find that side of me again. But lets be real ..nothing is that easy. What I want to do is pick up and run. Its easier. But I know I cant. I need to stand up and take control. Which sounds great …but not something I can do over night. I honestly don’t think people realize how broken I am.

I’ll find me again …somewhere down the road is the answer to where I am and how to get me back again. If you find me ..please return me.

Thanks for being a part of my journey,


Life takes over


Gosh, I am so behind! 😦

I started work last monday and it’s been go go go ever since. I’m up at 630 am, out the door at 8. I have to clock in at 9am and I’m there until 6pm. Takes me roughly 30-45 minutes to get home depending on traffic and such. By the time I get home I am so tired. My husband cooks us dinner and by the time thats all done and we’ve eaten it’s easily 9pm. At that point I dont want to do much of anything!

Because I’m so out of the flow of working I have SO much house work to get caught up on. I really need to get everything caught up that way I can relax and do the other things I enjoy. Ex: blogging.

I feel bad that I havent posted anything lately. I went from posting daily to nothing for a week. UGH!!!

I need to set a schedule or something. Like I’ll post monday, wednesday and friday. Or whatever. I just know that I really enjoy doing this and I don’t want to get so out of the rhythm that I just don’t want to do it anymore or I become so infrequent that no one enjoys reading it anymore.

How do you all deal with a busy life and making time?

I’m also planning to start back up with school in a couple months to start my Masters program. So I really need to figure out how to make this all work without wearing myself our completely.


ok had to get that out. I wouldn’t go as far as saying I am stressed but I am definitely not used to being busy all day at work then trying to find time and energy for everything else. I guess it will come in time.

Please dont give up on me. I promise I’ll figure this all out.


Thanks for being a part of my journey,


The Story of my Life


So as we all know tonight is the Oscars. Now I enjoy movies but I generally dont watch them until long after they were in the theaters. So watching the Oscars right now I’m as confused as can be because I have not seen any of these movies. In fact I haven’t even heard of most of them. Thank you TIVO for the lack of commercials …therefore the lack of movie previews. Anyway, to go with the theme of the Oscars and movies …I’ve decided to talk about who would play me in a movie about my life and what would it really be like?

I’ve thought about this a lot because it seems to be the age old question. But I really dont know who would play me…. can Katy Perry go into movies because that would be amazing. I try to think of people who look something like me …black hair …tattoos …edgy yet girly ….ugh this is hard!

Maybe Cameron Diaz with black hair

Or {I hate saying this} Kristin Stewart …only if she found a personality though

Sandra Bullock with black hair?

Anne Hathaway? She can be edgy and tattooed right?

Hell give Jennifer Lawrence some black hair and tattoos!

I really dont know. It’s a hard question. I am not normal or average! lol But honestly {other than Kristen Steward because I cant stand her, I’d be honored to have any of them play me in a movie about me}

I’ve always thought about writing a book on my life because I’ve had a lot of things happen in my life from sad things to happy things to powerful things. Death, struggle, depression, anxiety, dark times ….all the way to amazing friends and memories with them, parties, amazing family, vacations, a photo shoot, marriage ….a lot of great happy things. I’ve had a life that could teach a million lessons. And I’m only 28! I think a movie about my life would have to be a 3 hour long epic film to get it all in! haha But in reality I don’t know that all the lessons of my life and experiences could truly be put into a movie that’s only an hour and a half long. I could be wrong though. But that would be one hell of a roller coaster of a movie. You’d go from crying to laughing, to partying back to crying then some more laughing them some struggles and more partying them some lessons and more crying. I just dont even know. It would be chaos! 


What do I need to do to have a movie made about me? Come on now! Who’s up for a challenge? Then again maybe we should wait another 60 years so I can get all my life experiences done. Right now there’s only 28 years worth. But then it would have to be a LONG damn movie ….I’m talking at least 4 hours! haha I’d watch it!

Who would play you in a movie about your life??


Thanks for being a part of my journey,